Tuesday, March 2, 2010

gee, thanks mom...

so, it’s official now….as of today

my parents (meaning my mom & stepdad) won’t be attending my wedding ceremony in May nor the family celebration in June. well, neither will my father but he wasn’t expected to be there anyhow – he’s so far removed from my life he has no clue about anything since 2004 at the least.

i’m not sure how i’m feeling but there is a blanket of sadness over me right now. i think it’s because now my mom, too, has made her final statement. yet, she’s been the ‘supportive’ one of the two when We announced our upcoming wedding plans – she’s the one i honestly thought would be there even if my stepdad wasn’t going to be. she had said to me that she supported me, as her daughter, no matter what decisions i made about my life….now, today, she turned around and told me that probably neither of them would be attending any of the celebrations because ‘you know we don’t agree with the marriage part of it and you know i’ve always been against women marrying women and men marrying men.”…uh, yeah, i guess i know that now – fuck.

oh….i guess i should clarify the fucking difference here (again)….both are “ok” with M and i living together, sleeping together, etc etc…both really like M and both are happy that i’m now happy…this, again, was reiterated to me on Sunday after they had an amazing time with us for dinner and again, today, in my telephone convo with my mom…they adore M and all that shit but they just can’t ‘accept’ She and i getting ‘married’….it’s ‘not right’ in their eyes….FUCK OFF!

as much as i love my mom, i WILL NOT bend to this sanctimonious bullshit.

i knew my mom had issues with gays from an early age…it’s not an orientation that was ‘approved’ of in Austria and still isn’t but also because her best friend made loving advances towards my mom when they were both in their earlier teens and my mom never really got over that…she actually ended their friendship when that happened.

so then she tells me that she (they) really want to meet M’s family but just not at either of the wedding celebrations.

keeping my cool and staying aloof to all this shit being spewed at me, i told her they could meet M’s family at the birthday/anniversary party that will be happening a few days after Our wedding…wow, this is such fucking nonsense…i’m going to be 50 yrs old and i still have this shit to deal with from parents.

i’ve decided this: if they (or whomever else) continues to have these bullshit issues with my getting married to the most wonderful woman in the world and living a happy gay life with Her, then fuck them all…no, really.

this is NOT about religion.

this is NOT about their beliefs.

this is NOT about what others perceive is right or wrong.

this is NOT about THEM!

this is simply about two people who love each other, want to spend the rest of their lives together with a little piece of fucking legal paper that gives them the ‘official’ spouse seal. and because – in Canada – WE CAN!

anyone who cannot deal with that is ‘xnayed out and will not be celebrating ANYTHING else in my life with me and that includes my upcoming 50th birthday.


  1. The sad thing is that my parents would probably react the same way. They are both supportive and accepting of me as a person, and would welcome my partner into the family, but they would not come to my wedding. It's all about being Catholic, and for my dad, at least, the beliefs he has held for seventy-one years are what he will live and die with. My brother is in Boston studying to be a priest - he raised such a stink at my sister's pagan wedding that I know he wouldn't come to mine. It's sad, but true. The strange thing is, I know they both love me, and while it saddens me that they probably won't be there, when and if I ever say "I do," it will be okay. I also know that they will always regret not being there, and it may also cause them to change their way of thinking - if that makes any sense.

  2. So sorry your family is putting a downer on your happy day. I know you can say fuck you but it still hurts deep down inside.

    I'm sending you best wishes and happiness and can't wait for the day when I can marry this wonderful woman I love.

  3. thank you, ladies, for your supportive comments and well wishes...i, in turn, wish you both (and all the lovely lesbians out there) the warmest and best wishes in their current or future partnerships.

    Camlin dear, you have spun another view for me today and have probably managed to change my mind on NOT doing something a little too drastic...maybe in some small way, i CAN be ok with this without compromising who i (and M) are.
    hugs to you both :-)