gee, thanks mom...

so, it’s official now….as of today

my parents (meaning my mom & stepdad) won’t be attending my wedding ceremony in May nor the family celebration in June. well, neither will my father but he wasn’t expected to be there anyhow – he’s so far removed from my life he has no clue about anything since 2004 at the least.

i’m not sure how i’m feeling but there is a blanket of sadness over me right now. i think it’s because now my mom, too, has made her final statement. yet, she’s been the ‘supportive’ one of the two when We announced our upcoming wedding plans – she’s the one i honestly thought would be there even if my stepdad wasn’t going to be. she had said to me that she supported me, as her daughter, no matter what decisions i made about my life….now, today, she turned around and told me that probably neither of them would be attending any of the celebrations because ‘you know we don’t agree with the marriage part of it and you know i’ve always been against women marrying women and men marrying men.”…uh, yeah, i guess i know that now – fuck.

oh….i guess i should clarify the fucking difference here (again)….both are “ok” with M and i living together, sleeping together, etc etc…both really like M and both are happy that i’m now happy…this, again, was reiterated to me on Sunday after they had an amazing time with us for dinner and again, today, in my telephone convo with my mom…they adore M and all that shit but they just can’t ‘accept’ She and i getting ‘married’….it’s ‘not right’ in their eyes….FUCK OFF!

as much as i love my mom, i WILL NOT bend to this sanctimonious bullshit.

i knew my mom had issues with gays from an early age…it’s not an orientation that was ‘approved’ of in Austria and still isn’t but also because her best friend made loving advances towards my mom when they were both in their earlier teens and my mom never really got over that…she actually ended their friendship when that happened.

so then she tells me that she (they) really want to meet M’s family but just not at either of the wedding celebrations.

keeping my cool and staying aloof to all this shit being spewed at me, i told her they could meet M’s family at the birthday/anniversary party that will be happening a few days after Our wedding…wow, this is such fucking nonsense…i’m going to be 50 yrs old and i still have this shit to deal with from parents.

i’ve decided this: if they (or whomever else) continues to have these bullshit issues with my getting married to the most wonderful woman in the world and living a happy gay life with Her, then fuck them all…no, really.

this is NOT about religion.

this is NOT about their beliefs.

this is NOT about what others perceive is right or wrong.

this is NOT about THEM!

this is simply about two people who love each other, want to spend the rest of their lives together with a little piece of fucking legal paper that gives them the ‘official’ spouse seal. and because – in Canada – WE CAN!

anyone who cannot deal with that is ‘xnayed out and will not be celebrating ANYTHING else in my life with me and that includes my upcoming 50^th birthday.

P.R.I.D.E. NOT a political statement

so, here i am, shooting my mouth off the other day when i blogged about how great my workplace was, how supportive staff were blah blah blah...fuck

i was asked today to take the P.R.I.D.E. decorations down that i had so lovingly and proudly displayed around my workstation the past almost 2 weeks

by management....not my own manager...but her's

and

the legal department did their own little fucking bullshit which i'll get to in a moment....

so, sadly, down came....

the PRIDE flag my friend T brought me back from Winners
my "CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP" poster i mirrored from PRIDE Toronto's website
the P.R.I.D.E. acronym proudly displayed with accompanying words to suit
i was even able to find hilighters with ALL the P.R.I.D.E. colours to colour everything with

the reason?
well, our so-intelligent dept decided to hire an evangelically based 'person' who, without getting too detailed to cover my ass, is involved with work that deals with many many many gay folk for specific reasons....sorry, that's all i can say

anyhow, there was a freakin' uproar amongst all us gays at work when 'person' was hired on....so, apaprently, their keeping a close eye

BUT

to keep things 'neutral' in the office, so i was told, we are not allowed to put up any posters, decorations, etc etc that "could" be construed as political

AND

they, apparently, wanted to minimize any possible opening for this 'person' to start displaying their own stuff around their work area.

a resounding

WHAT THE FUCK?????

ok, i don't know about you all, but since when is celebrating and decorating for P.R.I.D.E. a fucking political event???????

and, as expected, my manager fought tooth and nail to try and get these assholes to understand that ALL of Toronto is celebrating P.R.I.D.E., ALL employees like to celebrate P.R.I.D.E.
it's a fucking human right to be allowed to celebrate
she went on to explain that it's no different than celebrating Christmas, Jewish holidays, Easter, Cabana, Mardi Gras....but to no avail

these assholes have fucking blinders on so tight, i swear the shit is going to start coming out of their eyes.

so, to further add insult to injury, i am ALSO no longer allowed to have my work pass flipped to the side where, remember, my IT Systems guy colour-printed my Lesbian Symbol PRIDE flag?




yeah, apparently, i was seen in the elevator by one of the legal losers who had a little brain red flagging occur that "it COULD be viewed as a political statement"

again

WHAT THE FUCK??????

sure, i could make a real stink about it....i could stand up for my humanity given human rights and trample on them all

but

1. as vocal as i am, i DO NOT like the limelight, ever, placed on me or being centered out
2. i'm in a position in that department where i am very well known, respected for my skills, knowledge, and all that shit....and, up to now, have been completely respected for who i am, the person i am - i cannot afford to lose my positive reputation and edge with upper management
3. if i fight this thing, do i want to make the work environment negative for the rest of the gays working there??

yet, for some reason, the more i think about it, the angrier i am getting

all this because they were stupid enough to hire some freakin' bible-thumping, evangelical homophobe.

this shit really needs to STOP!

goodbi....

so, the kick off to P.R.I.D.E. starts tonight
and so shall my life
again
:-)

great co-workers

ha! :-)
this week's been a smidgen better at work than usual...i'm fairly lucky in my workplace - i have an amazing boss, a great team and some crazy-ass-but-great colleagues although i find it hilarious that i'm the "token" lesbian out of 300+ employees

regardless, when i finally did come out a few years back, the volume of warmth and support towards me has been no less than phenominal to say the least....i'm sure there's those that have issues with my being so vocal and proud of my confident lesbianism but, and i'm sure of this, they know not to make their opinions known...at least not to my face 'cause they also know they don't want to deal with my wrath when i'm not happy with someone's fucked up opinion....no, i'm not a freakin' ogre or anything but my blunt say-it-like-it-is demeanor with a firey vulgar-mouthed temper when i'm really pissed is well known despite the majority knowing what a sweetheart i really am ;-)

i won't hesitate telling someone off, in my quiet don't-fuck-with-me style, if they act like a jerk or their opinions are insulting and demeaning to others...yup, that's me...always standing up for the underpuss

i figure i can get away with it as long as i'm discrete because i know that the majority of management...or at least the important ones in management....love me

so, those who don't necessarily agree with 'me', know better to stay the fuck out of my way - lol......the rumour mill hasn't, yet, brought any negative feedback in several years so i'm figuring all is good

oh sure, the place is flocking with the boy queens but i'm the only female gay that's outspoken about it...of course, many of us have our 'suspicions' of other chicks who might be but none of them are 'out and proud' like me ;-)

so, with P.R.I.D.E. in Toronto starting the end of this week, i've been 'decorating' my work area and i've had some help along the way.

the first little gift came from my own boss (very very hetero but very very open-minded) who brought me in a little rainbow pen that she picked up accidentally at some convention...of course the pen isn't intentionally designed for gays...jeesh...but it sure fits the festivities
and, as she told me today, she has some gay-P.R.I.D.E. wristbands (you know, like the ones for cancer and other worthy causes) at home somewhere that she'll bring me if she finds them...of course, with her, there would be a funny story behind obtaining them but too long to go into here.


ok, so they're pencils! don't get your knickers all in a clusterfuck about it ;-) couldn't find the right photo...jeesh lol

then there's one of the dudes in Systems...my stupid security work pass has my photo on one side and the hugest freakin' font with my name clearly for the world to see on the other side...of course, i wear this attached to my belt and walking obviously keeps flipping the damn thing over to the name side no matter how i attach it....so i came up with a little photo idea to cover my name and voila.....he was so kind as to print it off on colour print (which us 'regular' workers aren't privileged to use for obvious reasons)

and then today as i come back from some assignment i was doing, i turn my chair around to see this beautiful rainbow flag sitting on my chair! from my sweet friend Tammy.....she'd gone to Winners at lunch and when she saw they were handing out free PRIDE flags with purchases, the sweet thing thought of me and brought me one.

so now my workstation looks very P.R.I.D.E. orientated along with a poster i made for myself that hangs just outside on my wall.

looks like i'm set this year....HUGE amounts of festivities to attend...so my P.I.C. and i are hopefully and finally going on our long-awaited roadtrip this weekend and then we'll need to literally spread (oooo, nice term) ourselves around next weekend to make it to all the events....it'll be damn good for me since i've been out of circulation far too freakin' long...it'll be great to meet new people and let loose for a while...

oh yeah....bring on P.R.I.D.E., baby...bring...it.... ON ;-)