for most men in the testosterone world, it shows weakness - the stupid adage that 'men shouldn't cry"...wtf is that all about? surprising at this next statement coming from me...but men are human, have emotions and weaknesses just like the mightier side of humanity, we amazing females ;-)
a few days have now passed since i originally wanted to write this blog and some of the raw emotions i felt that day have now passed but when i have a memory of the man i saw on the subway that day, i still feel a little tug at my heart
rocking out to my i-pod on the subway - this a necessity to drown out the irritating folk that are commonly found in a big city environment - i looked across from me. two dudes - each very different from the other - were seemingly enjoying a friendship banter. the one man was slight in body build and fairly well dressed in contrast to his much larger, hugely muscular buddy, more casually dressed in sports gear. my guess was they were both school staff, he a teacher, his friend a phys ed/football coach.
on a rare moment, i found the smaller dude kind of captivating as he appeared to be a gentle (rare), polite (even rarer), friendly person. his hands interested me as they reminded me of my dad's hands. not in the exact as my dad's but in the manner of their physical appearance. for some unknown odd reason, i found myself watching him. i couldn't hear what they were talking about but i knew it was of some intense subject due to their hand actions, nodding/shaking of heads. then i noticed...
his eyes were glossy, wet and red. he was quickly trying to wipe away tears falling from his eyes...
having seen that, this intense sadness washed over me without me knowing why...i just knew my heart hurt for whatever troubles he was clearly going through. i had this incredible urge to hug him because the pain that resonated from his eyes affected me immensely
every day i struggle to keep that humane side of me being witness to all the fucked up bullshit around me and i know this is a boring rendition of a minor event in every day life yet his immense sadness was a solid reminder for me to keep my compassion for humanity open
a sad yet simple reminder how others hurt just as much as i do