for whom my heart beats...

American Idol voters have stupid ideas...

of who's a great singing talent and who's not...really, wtf???

ok, so M gets me all hooked on AI now...as Canadians, we really should watch the Canadian version but they don't have Ellen, eh ;-)

so i'm faithfully watching this from the beginning and, aside from Simon's occasional fucked up wrong critiquing of the singers, i'm agreeing with America's vote...

until last night

holy shit, wtf (yes, obviously my fav acronym to use)

how stupid is that?? do you NOT know a great talented voice when you hear it??? what the hell could have possibly made AI voters decide to kick off such an enormous talent with great looks to boot?????????

Lilly Scott

i was stunned, to say the least...prior to the final decision before commercial break, M had said to me that if Lilly Scott got booted rather than Katie, she wouldn't watch the show anymore and i told her, with great confidence in AI voters, that was NOT about to happen because, so i thought, Americans knew a fucking good thing when they heard/saw it...

(are ya kidding me????)

fuck, was i WRONG!

the ONLY reason i can fathom that this may have happened is that, in the general AI population, they weren't quite ready for Lilly's uniqueness so they stuck with the all-American-cutie safe choice instead...gawd,

fuck, whatever....

my personal favourites, aside from Lilly are:

Crystal Bowersox

and...

OOPS! wrong Casey James!!!! my bad ;-)

THIS Casey James....

let's see how long these two will last...hmmm, Casey maybe but i fear that Crystal might be next only because she doesn't have that "glossy beauty" look to her.

i think i'll waste my time watching something that makes more sense from now on.

the 'phallacy' of it all...

really, W T F??? i know, i know...i'm on such a 'hate-Toronto' kick these days...i'm sorry to those of you who love the big TO but since not having too many positive experiences with this stank city, i cannot honestly portray it in a positive way...although living so close to the lake/Harbourfront certainly has its pleasant advantages...

anyhow, i normally don't read the dude-geared newspapers like the Toronto Sun exactly because of that...all articles are written with such testosterone-fed wording it's, literally, sick-a-tating.

but today i wanted to read up on the latest tragedies of father/daughter dying in fire, OPP cop shot to death on highway near London, local cop in auto accident dying at the scene...but, of course, the FIRST article that hits me is not any of these stories, it's about the Moonlight Ladies - the 'older' version of the Sunshine Girls.

i'm not complaining about that by any means. i, myself, could easily qualify as a Moonlight Lady and no doubt there are many in the TO area that are hot, older women.

what pissed me off was the sexually-geared way the article was written. so i felt i just HAD to respond...

"Although I applaud Mr. Strobel's launching of the Moonlight Ladies, I'm disgusted with the sexually based comments made in this piece. examples: "Men across this fair land will long treasure the memory of Olympic curler Cheryl Bernard, 43, screaming “harder, harder!”

Honestly, why do we need to continue to implode society with sexual analogies of man-pleasuring goals...how insanely phallic has this society become??? Everywhere I go, I see phallicly-geared advertisements, posters, statues, art displays...it continues to baffle my head at how we continue to live in the dark ages of this man-owned society.

I'm already LMFAO at how dudes across Toronto will be ripping themselves a new anal hole at my comments. Calm down doggies."

ha! and further, when i checked back later, some dude made a lame comment about how i should just chill out and get a sense of humour...well, i just HAD to comment back on that as well at how i didn't expect any intelligent responses to my comment and that dude himself certainly didn't disappoint.

yeah, some days i'm not so nice.

gee, thanks mom...

so, it’s official now….as of today

my parents (meaning my mom & stepdad) won’t be attending my wedding ceremony in May nor the family celebration in June. well, neither will my father but he wasn’t expected to be there anyhow – he’s so far removed from my life he has no clue about anything since 2004 at the least.

i’m not sure how i’m feeling but there is a blanket of sadness over me right now. i think it’s because now my mom, too, has made her final statement. yet, she’s been the ‘supportive’ one of the two when We announced our upcoming wedding plans – she’s the one i honestly thought would be there even if my stepdad wasn’t going to be. she had said to me that she supported me, as her daughter, no matter what decisions i made about my life….now, today, she turned around and told me that probably neither of them would be attending any of the celebrations because ‘you know we don’t agree with the marriage part of it and you know i’ve always been against women marrying women and men marrying men.”…uh, yeah, i guess i know that now – fuck.

oh….i guess i should clarify the fucking difference here (again)….both are “ok” with M and i living together, sleeping together, etc etc…both really like M and both are happy that i’m now happy…this, again, was reiterated to me on Sunday after they had an amazing time with us for dinner and again, today, in my telephone convo with my mom…they adore M and all that shit but they just can’t ‘accept’ She and i getting ‘married’….it’s ‘not right’ in their eyes….FUCK OFF!

as much as i love my mom, i WILL NOT bend to this sanctimonious bullshit.

i knew my mom had issues with gays from an early age…it’s not an orientation that was ‘approved’ of in Austria and still isn’t but also because her best friend made loving advances towards my mom when they were both in their earlier teens and my mom never really got over that…she actually ended their friendship when that happened.

so then she tells me that she (they) really want to meet M’s family but just not at either of the wedding celebrations.

keeping my cool and staying aloof to all this shit being spewed at me, i told her they could meet M’s family at the birthday/anniversary party that will be happening a few days after Our wedding…wow, this is such fucking nonsense…i’m going to be 50 yrs old and i still have this shit to deal with from parents.

i’ve decided this: if they (or whomever else) continues to have these bullshit issues with my getting married to the most wonderful woman in the world and living a happy gay life with Her, then fuck them all…no, really.

this is NOT about religion.

this is NOT about their beliefs.

this is NOT about what others perceive is right or wrong.

this is NOT about THEM!

this is simply about two people who love each other, want to spend the rest of their lives together with a little piece of fucking legal paper that gives them the ‘official’ spouse seal. and because – in Canada – WE CAN!

anyone who cannot deal with that is ‘xnayed out and will not be celebrating ANYTHING else in my life with me and that includes my upcoming 50^th birthday.