I scratched my back with a fork...

and that’s how my day went...it’s weird the ‘tools’ we find to help us through some nasty-ass stuff when we don’t have the luxury of our Loved One helping us out – yeah, my Baby does amazing back scratches for me...mind you, i look like a raw piece of something after but it works!

i have this spot on my back that has a constant itch that gets SO bad, it drives me crazy. when She scratches it for me at home, i’m certain Our teenage son can definitely hear the loud groans of pleasure emitting from my mouth as She goes to town relieving my insane discomfort.

so, another nasty episode hits me while i’m at my desk at work...frantically looking for something to ease this fucker, i spot the fork and away i go...thankfully, no one was witness to this maniacal scene, especially since i’m still considered the NKOTB.

work...another sore spot with me these days...i’ve, stupidly maybe?, taken on an assignment at another office until the end of March next year. i’m into week 6 of my secondment but don’t feel any smarter about the processes here than day 1. wtf??

after 30+ years of working, this is all new shit to me...i’m not used to being on the learning end for one thing...it’s me that everyone’s been coming to for how to’s, advice, etc. – learning is good...but i feel like a total ‘tard for not having learned it all by my 2^nd week! (no derogatory intent to those in our society who are a wee bit slower in their thinking process).

the amounts and sources of information coming in daily are overwhelming to say the least. one of my key responsibilities on this job is to filter, delegate and disburse all incoming emails to my manager, she being the second highest in command of the place...we’re talkin’ anywhere from 200 to 400 per day! how am i supposed to know what the fuck to do with them all if i have NO clue what they’re all about??? yup, i know, i know...there’s a learning period for every job but this particular position CANNOT afford that kind of learning period...so, after numerous sleepless nights and several migraines, i think i’ll just make peace with myself knowing i’ll do the best i can under the circumstances...should be a little easier knowing now that i have the full support and understanding of top management staff and my related coworkers :-) ok, i’ll stick it out...i think ;-)

relationships...i see Her sexy hand on the passenger seat as i exit the car, knowing Her beautiful sparkling browns are looking at me walking away...She’s dropped me off at the subway station like We do every morning. most mornings, it takes all my resolve to NOT turn around, get back in the car and go back home with Her. it’s really hard leaving Her every morning so that both of Us can go to Our ho-hum jobs so We can meek through life with food, clothing, shelter and occasional entertaining. i was ready to give all that up...that relationship thing. i truly wanted to be single after i ended the last one...why the fuck bother with all the hassles and shit? but She changed all that...and even through the difficult days, when i feel all fucking hell is breaking loose and i feel like things are just too much for me, there She is, always with Her undying (i hope) love for me, Her amazingly sexy arms waiting to hold me...that touch...that touch is often all it takes to tame the beast inside of me...and that’s also why, when i’m just so damn angry, i won’t let Her touch me. but, i can’t resist long...so, into day 136? of Our wedded bliss, i toast You, Baby, for never giving up on me...on Us...even when i didn’t know it was going to be an Us.

ok, that's my report for now...saluting all you lovely lesbians out there

GREAT CHEESE but...

not everything :-(

so, wifey and i were in the area of this fab cheese shop we'd heard about on Toronto Living. We happened to be in the area over the long weekend and decided to drop in and see what kinds of delish cheeses We could leave with. ;-) 'cause wifey and i are most certainly cheeseLovers galore!

by recommendation of one of their 'cheese specialists' (dude was a wee bit on the weird side...caught him taking the broken slices of our order, chopping off the rind and hauling it into his yap like there was no tomorrow!), We bought some amazing Vieux Bruges Gouda - a smooth sliceable cheese with a spicy edge that melts amazingly on grilled cheese, westerns or just by itself alone on some nice cracked wheat bread! 'crackle, pop, mmmm, yum'!

cheese, however, is not all We spent Our hard-earned pennies on...alongside numerous other goodies, i spotted a beautiful green jar of Mint Sauce priced @ $7.99 but i thought, "hey, i've always wanted to find Mint Sauce already made" since i've had the privilege of eating it several times at a famous Indian restaurant...i, of course, didn't expect it to be the same as the restaurant style but i certainly wasn't expecting what i got when i opened the jar...

to my utter disappointment, it took 3 of us to even open the jar...once the jar was opened, a weird odour emitted and i noticed how it was 'just not right looking'...see what i mean below...

it looks like 'someone' had already eaten out of it...or it was just plain bad. all i know is...i can't eat my anticipated Mint Sauce.

being respectful, i'm not naming the store chain and i've cropped the receipt part although i do have other photos with a clear copy of the receipt.

i go to cheese company's website...living in the far north of TO and not having regular access to a vehicle, i was not about to venture via TTC-snail-mode plus umpteen buses to return an $8 product...i want to write to them and send them my photos of product-gone-wrong...well, conveniently, their website only allows for written communication through a form rather than actual email address...wtf?? can't send them any photos that way either, now can i??? makes me kind of suspicious as to how well they stand behind their products...

so...looks like i have no choice. i'm going back on their website - back to the form so i can send them the link to my blog, hoping they'll be kind and find some way of reimbursing me?

that would be nice :-)

Julia Child i'm not...

ok, so not only am i not great at online games but i've sadly discovered i'm no longer so great in the kitchen either! (especially since Honey and i have gotten together...She's a fucking amazing cook!)

huh...since turning 50 this year, it seems all my original talents (yes, including video games, online games, etc. and now cooking) have completely left me.

W T F???

my Baby's been away for the past few days, visiting her folks 'cause She has to, stupidly, use up her vaca time before the end of the year, unlike me, who can carry mine over into the next fiscal year. anyhow...

so, i want to bake something nice for Her return home today. visiting one of my fav cooking blogger's, i see sumzing totally delish to bake for Her...YUM (if you visit Rosa's page, it's the Pure Bliss Plum Focacia)

needing a few things to make this awesome food, last night "The Boy" and i hike over to the nearest grocery store together to buy the goods. i'm all pumped and ready to go this morning - nice and early @ 8:00 a.m. i read every instruction and figure it's not difficult at all. i start to make my focacia...this, of course, requires the preparation of a yeasty dough...

ok, for most of you, this isn't a big deal, making a dough with yeast but, as i was reminded quickly and bluntly, I have never been successful with anything that involves baking with yeast (gawd, don't even remind me of the pizza dough incident!)

i call my mom as i sadly, and angrily, look at what is supposed to be dough ready to knead, laying like some puked up leftovers on the counter (seriously, i was actually able to find an image of exactly what it looked like!)

thankfully, mom came to the rescue again as we shared a chuckle together that neither of us can bake with yeast...go figure. she gave me a 3 ingredient recipe for a crust that tastes fairly good so i was able to finish what i wanted to bake in the first place, only with a different type of dough.

meh, i could take a picture of how it turned out but i'm too freakin' tired from baking all morning...not only did i make the plum dessert, i baked two loaves of banana/apple bread and am, currently, baking a meatloaf for my Baby's homecoming. in between all that, i cleaned, did all the laundry, changed our (new! KING) bed and did about 10 loads of dishes during the course of the day so far...man, i really miss a dishwasher!

so let's just say, it turned out 'almost' like it was supposed to...

but really...wtf is happening to me?? i can't seem to put nothing together anymore...my mind is like an empty tomb of cobwebs where there used to be trillions of ideas for leftovers or some self-concocted amazing dish flowed from the brainage of my talents...none of that exists anymore and it's so damn frustrating! since my Baby moved in with "The Boy" and i last year, She's proven Herself quite the talented chefy and Boy is totally in love with Her food. it's been him and me for the past few days and if it hadn't been for the frozen pizzas, we'd have been in some hard way for food - ok, i DID manage to put together a totally delish egg sammie for him which he totally loved.

ok, enough whining...blame it on menopausal hormones

i officially HATE...

...BEJEWELED BLITZ on FB...fuck, i hate it. it's one of those games that makes you feel like a total inept 'tard 'cause you feel like you're just never good enough to beat the other bitches - what i mean by other bitches is the one's on my Baby's FB profile, neither of which i hold any warm feelings towards...oh, and one on my FB friends list who i only hold lukewarm comaraderie with - she ALWAYS seems to beat my ass every week :-( so the 'lukewarm' is swiftly turning to 'bitch cold' - blah.

someone PLEASE fucking tell me how these women get over 500,000 points EVERY fucking week??? the best i've ever done was about 450,000 and that was ONCE several months ago, never to be achieved again. i seem to, ineptly, average about 285,000 to 305,000 which, in itself, is not too shabby of a score but when you see others getting way beyond that, ya kind a wonder how the fuck they do it.

ok, enough said...i hate the fucking game...no big deal right? yeah, right.

%&$#ing game