Baby...

"Lucky"

It was a monday, when my lover told me,

"never pay the reaper with love only."

What could i say to you, except, "i love you."

And "i'd give my life for yours."

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.

The first time we made love, i... i wasn't sober.

(and you told me you loved me over and over!)

How could i ever love another, when i miss you every day...

Remember the time we made love in the roses?

(and you took my picture in all sorts of poses!)

How could i ever get over you, when i'd give my life for yours.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.

My dear, It's time to say i thank god for you.

I thank god for you in each and every single way.

And, i know... i know.. i know.. i know...

It's time to let you know. time to let you know.

Time to let you know. time to sit here and say...

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.

We are the lucky ones, dear...

Thanksgiving - Canadian Lesbian Style :-)

this year, TG was a bit different for sure. all around family decisions were that my mom would not have a TG dinner this year as we are all getting together anyhow for The Boy's big upcoming 18th birthday and since my mom had been putting in a lot more hours than usual into her funeral-catering p/t job, i thought she should take a well-deserved rest rather than cooking one of her wonderful family meals. plan was, then, to go only to M's family TG get together on Sunday which is about a 5 hr drive in total.

well, the nasty-ass fall i had last week, didn't allow for that either. so, as amazingly usual for my Woman, She decided to make Us a TG dinner but with a slightly different twist...kind of a one-pot meal deal. seems the idea light-bulbed into Her mind - but then again, She always comes up with wonderful ideas to cook food in different ways - a definite asset in a wife ;-)

Our meal was an authentic homestyle Thanksgiving dinner as shown below with all the fixin's 'n trimmin's required including the homemade cranberry sauce done up in one full swoop of a skillet...mmmm, yum!

in this lovely dish, We had a layered TG dinner with peas, potatoes, squash, chicken (meh, not much diff) with a layer of gravy smothered on top of it and then it was all topped off with (Her) Grammy's secret gourmet stuffing - oh my, each spoonful aromatized itself onto Our plates and into Our tummies - i had 3 servings! and, on the side, some more homemade gravy which melded the whole meal smoothly together.

We's had Ourselves a fiiiine Thanksgiving dinner, yes We's did :-)

'git 'er dun"...

LOL...yes, the 'big deed' is now done ;-)

WE got married yesterday, in a simple but VERY nice civil ceremony at Toronto City Hall.

it felt good to see a couple of Our friends take the time off work to be there for Us...it was heartwarming to see Her brother/his wife and my mom get all emotional during the ceremony...and, a nice surprise...my stepdad came at the end to congratulate Us...baby steps but steps nonetheless. my heart hurts for the rest of Her family who could not attend...they were all down with an insane strain of flu virus, including new baby Ben...but i'm mostly concerned for Her elderly parents whom this flu will be toughest on...thankfully, She set up the vid cam so they will be able to see the ceremony on Our next visit to them...

She liked Her surprise from me...i changed outfits before the ceremony started...became a bit more 'femme' for Her ;-)

fuck those heels suck shit big time LOL

at first, i was hesitant on the change of outfit deal 'cause i didn't want Her to feel like i was placing Her into the 'male' role of Our relationship...uh uh...that's not how We roll.

what gave me the idea, however, was that, in an earlier part of Our 'courting' days, i tried on a basic black summer dress one day and She literally went crazy horn-dog on me ;-) so i thought maybe She'd like me to dress a bit more girly for Her on Our day together. i also remember, pre-dating Her years, that Her blogs included fantasies with girly-femme-types so i thought this might get Her pumped a little more...

i know...quite wicked of me ;-)

this morning, We lay in bed together, admiring the new jewellery piece on Our fingers...a simple yet beautiful reminder of Our commitment to each other

ahhh...it feels just right...Mrs. and Mrs.

"albino frog with a 'fro"...hahaha

after a lovely way to be woken up this morning, i, languishing in the nude after-math of a blissful morning, stretch out my leg, halfway, to try and massage her achy ribs with the softness of my foot...i can only imagine the vision of me, blond, curly hair all wild and crazy, as she turns around, laughing her cute ass off and lovingly says to me, "you look like an albino frog with a 'fro right now"...oh really?? haha, aren't you just the funny girl.

was this part of the vision for her this morning **as i chuckle to myself**

love for love....

the other day, coming home on the streetcar, the thought of Her came into my brain for, i'm sure, the 1,000,000th time that day.

She occupies that space so much there's barely room for anything else and it's not like it's a huge brainage space to begin with. no worries, i still can think and get my work shit done.

as blogged before, it's been a fucking whirlwind since June of last year, and i mean that in a really good way. the best way to describe it is two lost soul mates finally coming together after a few years of emotional ping pong with a solid friendship base to hold it all together.

the union of this pair - Us - has been, and continues to be, mindblowing to say the least. it's shattered all my doubts and facetious opinions about finding true love...at least for me. i always knew it existed - for others - but never thought it a remote life possibility for me.

the simple feeling of knowing, that day on the streetcar, that i'd be home with Her soon brought such a blanket of contentment, peace and love i'm still not used to experiencing. i hope i never take those feelings for granted. but this is how i feel every single day of my life. i can't wait to be with Her at the end of the day, wake up to Her in the mornings, Our strolls with B, Our road trips, everyday regular life things like shopping for groceries, cooking together, washing the car, etc etc.

no matter how great or shitty my days are going, the thought of Her makes every day worthwhile.

there's no doubt i continue to behave like an asshole towards Her sometimes....i have a lot of really crappy post-asshole-relationship baggage i carry with me that's laced with a lot of anger....poor Her, i know but it's shedding slowly - yet, there is a noticeable change in me, ...thanks to Her.

i can't wait for Our wedding day, babe....yup, just over 80 days to go ;-)

no, i haven't vanished completely....

hey all...how the hell have you all been??? it's been a while, i know :-(

sorry

been busy as hell - wedding plans and all

been on vacation - fantastic time but i had to get pissy with some folks - more on that later

been sick post vacation - what else is new?

been taking care of my girl

lots of lovin' to be had and shared ;-)

for now, however, i just want to send this to her....and to all of you lucky shits in love like We are....and if you're not, don't worry, your time WILL come....hey, it took 1/2 my life to find Her.

for you, baby....

(ps. thanks, Tam - this will DEF go on Our Wedding List)

My love
Your love
Has opened up a world I’ve never known
All hope
Was found
A place I never dreamed I would go
Feels like only yesterday I had locked my heart away
Safe behind a castle of stone
Sure I’d always be alone
Only you know how
To hear me through the silence
You reach a part of me that no one else can see
Forever true there’s only me and only you
Only me and you

In your face I trust
With you beside me I am standing strong
One truth
Two hearts
You took my life and made it beautiful
So you dared to let me shine
Even walk a step behind
Willingly you give yourself to me
Knowing who I was born to be
Only you know how
To hear me through the silence
You reach a part of me that no one else can see
Forever true there’s only me
And only you
Only me and you

Only you know how
To hear me through the silence
You reach a part of me that no one else can see
Forever true there’s only me
And only you
Only me and you

Christmas this year.....

(M bought this for Our first Christmas together)

was so special for me this year....the first, ever, Christmas that i was genuinely happy and excited about the holidays

not that, in previous years, i didn't enjoy Christmas with my children...it was only them that i could focus on and pretend excitement for their sake so their hearts would feel good at a time where so many are sad and depressed.

but this year, She made it so much more magical. My M.

M and i spent a great time with both our families...mine on Christmas Eve and Hers on Christmas Day...we also attended a wonderful Christmas Eve Service at Roy Thompson Hall with an amazing choir and other highly talented singers and musicians - what was enjoyable about it was that it was for all denominations. also this church organization is mostly gay oriented. it was great seeing parents and grand parents attend to the many gays that are regulars of this church.

but also, M and i, are now spending some much needed quality down time together....prepping for the holidays has really knocked the shit out of our wings and it's a perfect time, now, to reconnect and sprinkle some extra romance in there! lol

(M decorated Our first tree)

and before i forget......HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU! WARMEST WISHES TO YOU ALL FOR AN AMAZING AND POSITIVE NEW YEAR!

xo

denial? not anymore ;-)

for a look at the hotties singing it, go to this link....i can't post the actual vid here...sorry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iFwc8M0M-Y

songs from my heart....

to my love....
words just aren't flowing like they should...does true love makes us all stupid??? lol
i've been trying to write my vows for our upcoming wedding....how can i NOT?? have words flow easy from my heart when i know what i feel about her/Us....it's like a fucking writer's block which seems to be in conjunction with my not being able to write poetic prose either lately...fuck, it's so frustrating.
true, i still have some months to put it all together but i'm worried i won't find the right words and then i'll look like a damn idiot on Our Day either by not having something original from ME or having something idiotic sounding 'cause lately, i HAVE been acting like an idiot - enough said, she knows what i'm talking about.

(this one - kind of funny vid to watch - lip-syncing contest)



btw....these two videos are GREAT for make-out time ;-)

song of feelings...

ok ok ...another song....sorry




lyrics:
These are the eyes that never knew how to smile
Till you came into my life (do-do-do-do-do)
And these are the arms
That long to lock you inside every day
And every night (do-do-do-do-do)
Girl, and here is the soul of which you've taken control
Can'tcha see I'm tryin' to show love is right

Whoa, oh, oh, oh show and tell
Just a game I play
When I wanna say "I love you"
Girl, so show me and tell me
That you feel the same way too
Say you do, baby

These are the hands
That can't help reaching for you
If you're anywhere in sight
(Anywhere in sight)
And these are the lips
That can't help callin' your name
In the middle of the night
(Middle of the night)

Whoa, and here is the man
Who needs to know where you stand
Dontcha know I've done all I can, so decide

Whoa, oh, oh, oh show and tell
Just a game I play
When I wanna say "I love you" (I love you)
Girl, so show me and tell me
That you feel the same way too
Say you do, say you do, baby, baby, baby

Ahh, here is the soul
Of which you've taken control
Can't you see I'm tryin' to show love is right

Ooh, girl, show and tell
Just a game I play
When I wanna say "Oh, I love you"
Girl, so show me and tell me
That you feel the same way too
Say you do, say you do, baby

Whoa, oh, oh, oh show and tell
Just a game I play
When I wanna say "Oh, I love you"
Girl, so show me and tell me
That you feel the same way too
Say you do, baby, baby

for my babe......