wrinkled love

yup...this is what i hope for in my married union

a loving, wrinkled hand providing a pat of comfort

a delicate, discrete stroking of love over my hand

or

vice versa

this morning, on the subway to work, an elderly Asian couple were sitting adjacent to me...from the corner of my eye, i see as his hand gently and so lovingly brushed over top and down his wife's hand...i couldn't help but smile and the thoughts above came to me

i LOVE seeing the love and dedication of elderly couples - straight or same-sex. it provides a glimmer of hope to my misanthropic attitude towards society.

just had to share

never hurts to acknowledge the positives in life, regardless of how small

'git 'er dun"...

LOL...yes, the 'big deed' is now done ;-)

WE got married yesterday, in a simple but VERY nice civil ceremony at Toronto City Hall.

it felt good to see a couple of Our friends take the time off work to be there for Us...it was heartwarming to see Her brother/his wife and my mom get all emotional during the ceremony...and, a nice surprise...my stepdad came at the end to congratulate Us...baby steps but steps nonetheless. my heart hurts for the rest of Her family who could not attend...they were all down with an insane strain of flu virus, including new baby Ben...but i'm mostly concerned for Her elderly parents whom this flu will be toughest on...thankfully, She set up the vid cam so they will be able to see the ceremony on Our next visit to them...

She liked Her surprise from me...i changed outfits before the ceremony started...became a bit more 'femme' for Her ;-)

fuck those heels suck shit big time LOL

at first, i was hesitant on the change of outfit deal 'cause i didn't want Her to feel like i was placing Her into the 'male' role of Our relationship...uh uh...that's not how We roll.

what gave me the idea, however, was that, in an earlier part of Our 'courting' days, i tried on a basic black summer dress one day and She literally went crazy horn-dog on me ;-) so i thought maybe She'd like me to dress a bit more girly for Her on Our day together. i also remember, pre-dating Her years, that Her blogs included fantasies with girly-femme-types so i thought this might get Her pumped a little more...

i know...quite wicked of me ;-)

this morning, We lay in bed together, admiring the new jewellery piece on Our fingers...a simple yet beautiful reminder of Our commitment to each other

ahhh...it feels just right...Mrs. and Mrs.

love for love....

the other day, coming home on the streetcar, the thought of Her came into my brain for, i'm sure, the 1,000,000th time that day.

She occupies that space so much there's barely room for anything else and it's not like it's a huge brainage space to begin with. no worries, i still can think and get my work shit done.

as blogged before, it's been a fucking whirlwind since June of last year, and i mean that in a really good way. the best way to describe it is two lost soul mates finally coming together after a few years of emotional ping pong with a solid friendship base to hold it all together.

the union of this pair - Us - has been, and continues to be, mindblowing to say the least. it's shattered all my doubts and facetious opinions about finding true love...at least for me. i always knew it existed - for others - but never thought it a remote life possibility for me.

the simple feeling of knowing, that day on the streetcar, that i'd be home with Her soon brought such a blanket of contentment, peace and love i'm still not used to experiencing. i hope i never take those feelings for granted. but this is how i feel every single day of my life. i can't wait to be with Her at the end of the day, wake up to Her in the mornings, Our strolls with B, Our road trips, everyday regular life things like shopping for groceries, cooking together, washing the car, etc etc.

no matter how great or shitty my days are going, the thought of Her makes every day worthwhile.

there's no doubt i continue to behave like an asshole towards Her sometimes....i have a lot of really crappy post-asshole-relationship baggage i carry with me that's laced with a lot of anger....poor Her, i know but it's shedding slowly - yet, there is a noticeable change in me, ...thanks to Her.

i can't wait for Our wedding day, babe....yup, just over 80 days to go ;-)

hello all you beautiful women…i’ve been silent for a while…sorry.
but i’ve had good reason.

life has certainly taken a turn for the better…finally, after ½ a century! fuck. :-)
i won’t bore you all with minute details of what’s been happenin’. i think you all have a fairly good idea from a couple of my last blogs (and hers)

simply put…..
it’s been a fucking amazing few months and, for seriously once in my life, i look forward to my life journeys….
with her
my M

our heads….
still spinning from the quickness of it all just syncing together…each step a natural, comfortable, feels-just-right forward to the last….each stepping stone stronger, more solidified than the last.

surrounding circumstances falling into natural place like it was meant to be…me, still feeling surreal to it all after so-damn-many-tired-years of staggering through life like an empty-hearted zombie through each unsuccessful, stressful, painful, fucked-up relationship after another….never feeling like it was the right one anyhow. a fucking waste of my precious time until….

i met her
online, 3 yrs ago – thanks myspace ;-)
where a fast, solid friendship quickly cemented itself in both of us…both already partnered at the time, to share our woes and glees through it all.

my most insane dreams would have never conjured up this wonderful melding of two souls outside of anything but a friendship.

i can honestly say that now i know what love really feels like….real love. honest love. happy love.

when i look into her eyes…when i see her smile at me…when i feel her touch….no words are needed - the story of “us” is very clear….a love neither of us has ever experienced shines through like the heavens themselves had opened up…fuck, i know how mushy and leotarded that sounds but that’s the best way i can describe it all.

two commitment-marriage-phobia women have ‘found’ each other through 3 years of friendship, fucked-up times and not-so-fucked up times…who would have thought???

side bonuses: my teenage son adores her, i’ve never seen him take to anyone like this – ever before. i’ve never seen him enjoy conversing with anyone like her…..her beloved 13yr old Bailey has two mommies now to walk her, feed her, play with her and let her snore and fart her happy self either under our bed or stretch her little chunky butt out on the sofa in total comfort. (um, that would be her dog, ok? )

i also feel a warm, comforting welcome from her family/parental units. a small glitch remains, however, on my side of things. i still have my 20yr old daughter to catch up on all of this, who doesn’t necessarily share her brothers open-minded attitude about their lesbionic mother and, although i know my mom/stepdad are fairly ‘ok’ with my orientation and i know they really adore M since they met her last year but i’m not sure how they’ll handle the news we need to share with everyone…..
scroll

scroll

scroll

yes…

we two commitment-marriage-phobia chicks are getting married next summer…holy shit ;-)

it just seems like the next natural step in this union blessed by some higher power beyond my (our) understanding.

we’ve chosen Manitoulin Island – in particular, Providence Bay, which has the most stunning sunsets this side of Canada.

below, i’m sharing some of my photogs with you…yes, she has taught me the trade quite well so far…hope you like them










thank you, my love, for choosing me to journey through life with.

feeling her more....

through music....music keeps her close by me when we are apart....

ok ok...so right now i'm in a state of new-love bliss...cut me some slack on my mushy ways but i can't help myself ;-)

#1:
WHEN LOVE TAKES OVER (couldn't use a 'lyrics' vid on this because...EVERYONE ON YOUTUBE GOT THE FREAKIN' LYRICS WRONG!!!! goofs.)



lyrics:
It's complicated, it always is, that's just the way it goes
Feels like I've waited so long for this, I wonder if it shows?
Head under water now I can breath, it never felt so good.
Cause I can feel it coming over me I wouldn't stop it if I could

When love takes over, yeah
You know you can't deny
When love takes over, yeah
Cause something's here tonight

Give me a reason I gotta know, do you feel it too ?
Can't you see me here on overload, and this time I blame you...
Ohhh... Looking out for U to hold my hand, it feels like I could fall
Now love me right like I know you can, we could loose it all

When love takes over, yeah
You know you can't deny
When love takes over, yeah
Cause something's here tonight
Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight
Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight

I'll be loving all the time, it's true
Cause I want to make it right with you

When love takes over, When love takes over, When love takes over,
When love takes over, When love takes over,When love takes over,
When love takes over, Over, Over, Over, Over, Over, Over, Over,
Over, Over, Over

When love takes over, yeah
You know you can't deny
When love takes over, yeah
Cause something's here tonight.

#2 IS IT LOVE



lyrics:
i never knew a love
a love that could be sweeter
no matter what my mind says
your music gives me feeling
the moment that we danced
your arms feel like a cradle
and when you take my hand
i was no longer able
love never felt so right before
i need to be with you much more
i cant believe this kind of fate
we can runaway

is it love...(x14)
Love

Im always in a spell
even when im sleeping
youre always on my mind
i hope that im not dreaming
if i had let me stay asleep
dont wake me up but feel complete
i never want to feel it end
what a lovely moment

is it love...(x14)
Love
Love
Love
Love

I want to give you my love all the time (all the time)
i want to make love to you all the time (all the time)
i want to be right next to you all the time (all the time)
i want to be in love with you all the time (all the time)

is it love...(x14)
love
love
Love
Love

and for a little spice....

#3 OH MY GOD - this vid much juicier than the 'official' one ;-)



lyrics:
Put me on the table
Make me say your name
If I can't remember
Then give me all your pain
I can sit and listen
Or I can make you scream
Kiss it and make it better
Just put your trust in me

[Chorus]
Oh my God, go a little slower
Oh my God, what was that again
La da da, let me feel you baby
Let me in, 'cause I understand
Let me feel you baby
'Cause I understand

[Rap]
I understand all
Now climb my sugar walls
Problem solved it's dissolved
with the solvent known as spit
Lickity lick not so quick it's a
Slick ride make my mink slide
'Cause were all pink inside

This can be really easy
It doesn't have to be hard
Here baby let me show you
I'll have ya, climbing up the walls
You got all the problems
I think that I can solve
Why don't you come in here baby
Why don't we sit and talk

[Chorus x2]

[Rap]
You like the top and the bottom
You make a drop and then caught 'em
And when you rock then you've got 'em
Oh my God 'em oh my God 'em

the trouble with speaking...

as she knows, i allow lyrics - too often - to speak what my chicken-ass mouth can't
for someone who often has verbal diarrhea, it's become difficult for me to verbalize emotions - well, at least positive ones...i still don't seem to have any trouble mouthing off when i'm pissed! lol

my song (1 of 100) for you:



LYRICS

I'm finding the more I see you the more I can see
Now I'm not hiding anymore
Come on baby
Let me know how you feel
Come on take me
I can see this is real
Ever since your love filled my life
I see it's changing everything
Don't you know the way you move me
It's so right, it's better than anything
You are the star in the night
Shining for me baby
Love is so right
Come on I'm feeling everything.

You know me in a way like no one ever before
You hold me forever

***totally blushing***

brain ramblings....

for my poetry-minded friends, new piece for your reading perusal....

see
http://lostmybraintohormones.blogspot.com/

;-)

something in the air?

i don't know
i really don't
can't put my finger on it
but

i FEEL it
there's something brewing in the air
and i think it's a good thing
this time
;-)