what a bitch she is....

yes, that one there....in the photo above

it's that time of the month again

in more ways than one

pms + full moon + stress + frustrations = clusterfuck of emotions

it's been - for the most part of my life - not the most positive or happy relationship we share....the moon and i

in fact, it can be downright damaging.

and has in past years...that's why this monthly phase oftentimes worries me. the gravitational pull of this magnificently beautiful yet potentially evil satellite of our universe never ceases to amaze the negative effects it has on my life...and others.

in previous years, when my own personal pms wars were stronger and more radically intense than now, the combo of pms @ the same time as the full moon turned me into something even i didn't recognize and scared the crap right out of my kids.

my body shudders at the memories of those times and my completely irrational, downright fucking scary behaviour :-(

i'm not quite that bad anymore...thankfully. but it still has nasty effects on me...

emotional rationale fly out the proverbial window, my body goes into 24hr defense mode, i'm tense as hell, i can't sleep more than a couple of hours during the night...if i do wake for any reason forget going back to sleep, i cry at just about anything, i become argumentative as hell, and every little thing that normally doesn't bother me too much, turns into a full blown annoyance which sends me into sheer pissy mood and i feel like punching or kicking something - my need for fight and flight becomes my constant

and it's not just me...i see the change in others around me and i definitely see the change in the general population...holy shit

about 3 days prior to and then during the full phase of its existence, people in general become more fucked up than usual.

you see it in their eyes, you hear it in their irrational conversations and arguments with you on the phone or one-on-one, in-your-face disrespect and rudeness are their initial reactions, the % of road rage increases dramatically, auto-related accidents increase, and the list goes on.

9 out of 10 people i speak to can relay some story or incident for them related to the full moon.

that's so fucked up.

sometimes i feel like we are mere little chess pawns to be moved around at will by the universe we live in...that doesn't allow for a safe, comfortable feeling

then again, in today's world, when can we ever feel safe and comfortable?

i don't have a positive answer for that.

me? a nurse?

***Medieval Lesbians In Love***

lol....today, i can write with better humour than yesterday...yesterday i wrote a blog and then felt compelled to delete it 'cause it was too much of a self-pity thing...gotta stop that shit

haven't had too much time these days to blog...nor read anyone else's...sorry :-(

seems i've taken on the role of nursie to my GF...yup, she did something silly at work last week Tuesday that has ended her up fairly horizontal with herniated disc and inflamed sciatica.

she seems to be on the road to painfully slow recovery but each day seems to get a little better with the occasional fall-back to some not-so-good days but that's the way it is with this kind of injury.

when she's having a bad day, so am i.....it's difficult to watch someone you care about be in so much pain

when she's having a good day, so am i....i love seeing the sparkle in her vixen eyes and that mischievous smile on her sexy lips ;-)

there's much we've missed in these past almost-2-weeks:
like our daily weekend walks to the Harbourfront, hungrily lining up at corn-dude's hut for some mouth-watering Jamaican corn on the cob

walking through the market place seeing all the interesting goods for sale and seeing what weird entertainment happens to be plugged for that day

sitting at the very edge of the concrete ledge in the harbour, snuggling and kissing while watching all the water traffic

laughing ourselves silly watching all the shocked tourists gaping and gawking at us while we stroll hand-in-hand and mouth-to-mouth through the "land of the heteros" - gawd, one woman almost broke her freakin' ankle tripping over the sidewalk

and, of course, we miss our intimate times...who wouldn't.

but we've discovered something really grand between us....we share more than a 'physical' thing....we share a deep intimacy and love that goes beyond sex.

we share our souls and find solace just lying in each other's arms.

and that's never a bad thing.

soon enough, she'll be back to her old self again. then we'll have some time to make up ;-)

yeah, it's a rough patch for now, babe, but we'll get through it.

i'm so proud of....
Us

i love You